


i can't help falling in love with you

by steelatoms



Category: IT (2017), IT (2019), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Cheesy, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kissing in the Rain, Light Angst, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Slow Dancing, Stanley Uris Lives, Suicide Attempt, Trauma, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-07 23:36:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21226118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steelatoms/pseuds/steelatoms
Summary: after avoiding him since Neibolt, Richie and Eddie reunite at Ben and Beverly's wedding.





	i can't help falling in love with you

**Author's Note:**

> so i tried to write something happier for once??? tell me if you like it pls!

Richie Tozier had never been great at talking about his feelings; he often hid behind his crude sense of humour in order to avoid letting someone in, but here, now, he was feeling the urge to let everything spill.

As inappropriate as it seemed to declare his love for someone at someone else’s wedding, the way Eddie looked in his suit and tie had him feeling like confessing every single secret he held close to his chest.

_ This is Ben and Bev’s day, _he told himself, mentally kicking himself for letting the thought even cross his mind.

Still, he couldn’t help the way his eyes wandered across to where Eddie was sitting, the other man smiling up at Ben encouragingly. There was something about that smile that made Richie feel the slightest bit of guilt.

He had been avoiding Eddie since Neibolt, since the day he almost lost him because if he had been there, if he had been with him during the time he recovered, he would never have left his side. He would’ve fought Myra to the death for him, and he _ hated _that.

He hated how fiercely the emotions bubbled within him whenever they were within a close distance, hated how much he hated Myra for being able to be there when he awoke, for being able to love him without being shamed.

Beside him, a concerned Stanley rested a hand on his shoulder, “You okay?”

_ Goddamn it, Stanley. _

Eddie wasn’t the only one who nearly died a few months previous; in an attempt to higher their odds in defeating _ It, _Stanley had tried to take his own life. Thankfully, the suicide attempt had been unsuccessful and they won anyway, but it didn’t change the fact that sitting there beside Stan was simultaneously terrifying and wonderful.

_ “I’m fine,” _he lied, it coming out stunted and causing Stan to grimace, unconvinced.

_ Just leave it alone, Stanley, _ he pleaded in his head, the words not quite being able to leave his mouth as he prayed that the other man could read his anguished facial expression, _ I can’t do this. _

He thought of the phone call to Stanley’s wife, of how she sobbed as she told them he was in the hospital, how the doctor had told her they weren’t sure if he’d pull through, how none of it made any sense, how he had been happy and kissed her before going to take a bath.

Richie pitied her; she still didn’t know about Pennywise and the horrors of Derry, so her husband’s attempted suicide was still a mystery to her, and that must’ve been killing her, alongside the painful anticipation of whether he would try it again. He wouldn’t, but she couldn’t trust that, she was living on a tightrope, afraid that with the wrong move, it’d snap and Stanley would slip through her fingers.

Still, Richie was glad Stanley was here with him, because without him, he might’ve just lost his mind.

He caught Eddie’s glance once more, his eyes ducking downward almost instantly in regret, and he could feel Eddie’s hurt. He never wanted to be responsible for Eddie’s pain or sadness, but being so close to him, being so near after months of barely interacting and a near-death experience, it was nothing short of intoxicating.

He wanted to kiss him, to tell him how he felt, but he couldn’t; he wasn’t even out to his friends yet, despite a small inkling that they already knew, especially Stanley, who was watching him intently as he awkwardly shifted in his seat.

Thankfully, the music began, and Mike came down the aisle to join Ben, clad in an expensive-looking Armani tux. He patted Ben’s arm, offering a motivational nod and smile.

Then, Beverly and Bill appeared at the top of the aisle, their arms linked, and Ben’s expression shifted from nervousness to pure adoration. Richie tried to ignore the irony of Bill giving Beverly away as they descended the passageway.

Beverly looked a vision, dressed in a billowing white gown that she had designed herself, her red hair pinned up as she came to stand before an already-crying Ben. Richie couldn’t blame him as he felt himself getting misty eyed and he rubbed under his glasses in a futile attempt to stave off the tears.

  
Beside him, Stanley silently wept, wept at how happy he was to be here, watching two of his best friends finally having the happy ending they deserve. He thought about how he had almost missed this, how he had almost missed _ all _of this, and the tears came harder as Bill came to sit beside them, instantly pulling his friend into his arms.

Ben and Beverly exchanged their vows, the former giving a shaking rendition of the poem he had scribed for her twenty seven years previously.

_ “Your hair is winter fire.” _ he recited, _ “January embers. My heart burns there too.” _

When the priest gave his blessing and the rings had been exchanged, the two lovers kissed and Richie couldn’t help but cheer, swiping at his wet eyes.

_ Nobody _ deserved this more than them, absolutely _ nobody._

* * *

Later, after Richie had embarrassed them both with a hilariously awkward speech, they had relocated to the reception hall where Richie sat at his table alone, trying not to crack up at Ben’s awful dance moves as a _ New Kids on the Block _song blared. Beverly was laughing as she danced with him, Bill and Mike beside them with an awkwardly shuffling Stanley, who they had forced to join them.

Stan exchanged a pained look with Richie, who couldn’t help but grin back, only for his smile to drop when Eddie came to sit beside him, handing him a flute of champagne.

_ “Hey, man.” _Richie swallowed thickly, “Uh, thanks.”

Eddie nodded, “Yeah, no problem.” an uncomfortable silence grew between them, which Eddie broke after a minute as he announced, “So, I, uh, I got a divorce.”

_ “You did?” _Richie tried to hide the delight in his tone, “I’m, uh, I’m… I’m sorry.”

Eddie shrugged, “It wasn’t exactly a happy marriage.”

_ “Still…” _ Richie huffed, “I mean, that-- that _ sucks.” _it was painfully obvious how much sarcasm was laden in his tone, but thankfully, Eddie seemed not to notice.

Instead, he gave a small nod in agreement, a distant look in his eyes, “Yeah, I suppose.” he blinked himself back into reality after another moment of torturous silence wherein Richie attempted to tear his gaze away, “So, anyway!” it was a desperate attempt to force conversation, yet completely and utterly endearing, “Enough about me and my stupid life, how are you? I mean, I feel like, well, I feel like we’ve not talked since… since Derry. What’s up?”

“Not much,” Richie lied; his life had been chaotic ever since the day he left, with the constant anxiety and nightmares that his deepest, darkest secrets would be revealed.

_ Fucking Henry Bowers, _calling him out in front of everyone, forcing him to hide a part of himself from the world, a part that had festered into shame and hatred deep inside him over the course of twenty seven years.

He remembered Mike telling him about the hate crime that occurred the week he returned, and it shook him to his core. Pennywise had dealt the killing blow, but Adrian Mellon had truly been murdered by the citizens of Derry.

_ Fuck Derry, and fuck the world; I don’t owe them shit. _

“So, I watched your Netflix special,” the tension between them was thick, uncomfortable and unfamiliar, “It was--”

Richie interjected, _ “Terrible? _ Well, Eds, that’s just what happens when I write my own material. I mean it works on Molly Ringwald and her gang of ragamuffins, but the people out there? Not at all. I mean, lately I haven’t even been thinking about--”

_ “Dude, stop.” _Eddie cut in, “I was actually going to say it was good.”

Richie arched an eyebrow, confused, “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah, it was fucking hilarious!” Eddie replied, “Much better than all the other crap you used to say, I mean, you should write your own material more often!”

Richie rested his hand on his chest and gave an over-dramatic gasp, “Edward Kaspbrak, is that a compliment? Wow, I am so _ honoured!” _

“I regret it now.” Eddie deadpanned, “I take it back.”

Richie laughed at that, then downed his flute of champagne before his tone sobered up, “Hey, look, man. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m avoiding you. I’m not, I swear, it’s just…”

“You were in the deadlights.” Eddie stated, “I mean, you saw me die, didn’t you? Bev saw us all die in the deadlights, so you probably saw me, right?”

Richie was taken aback, caught off guard by how accurate Eddie was being, “H-How… How’d--”

“Stanley helped me figure it out.” the other man explained, “I mean, it was driving me crazy getting the silent treatment, you know? I figured that I’d done something, so I went to Stan for advice.”

_ “You asked Stan about me?” _the other man wondered, perplexed yet intrigued.

Eddie nodded, “Yeah. I mean, he told me to give you time. I mean, at first, I confess I was a bit pissed at you, I mean, I almost died and I felt like you kinda just abandoned me, you know?” Richie flinched with shame and Eddie instantly rested a hand on his arm, “But I’m not pissed anymore, okay? I understand. You saw me die, I’d’ve been the same, only worse because _ some _ people would describe me as neurotic.”

“It was fucking awful.” Richie’s voice cracked, the sarcastic retort he had prepared dying before it even touched his tongue, “I saw you, I-I felt you. It was _ real.” _

Eddie shook his head, “No it wasn’t.” his hand moved down Richie’s arm to rest on his hand, and the skin contact caused the other man’s breath to hitch a little, “Because I’m here. I’m alive. I mean, I won’t be doing any swimsuit calendars anytime soon on account of the alien claw-shaped scar on my chest, but I’m _ alive, _you know?” he swallowed thickly, then admitted, “I didn’t just divorce Myra because I wasn’t happy being with her…”

Richie perked up, interested, “Then why did you--”

“I broke up with her because I realised that I was in love with someone else,” Eddie began.

Richie’s heart jackhammered in his chest, and he wanted to kiss Eddie right there and then, to hold him, to dance with him the way Bev and Ben were dancing, smiles across their faces with not a care in the world but there was the ever-present fear in the back of his mind.

_ What if this isn’t real? _

_ What if I wake up and this is all a dream, and in real life I’m back in the hellscape that was an Eddie-less world? _

_ What if people judge me? _

Before Eddie could continue, Richie pulled his arm away, “I-- I need to go for a smoke.” he dove out of his seat and as subtly as possible attempted to leave the room, though Stan’s concerned glance let him know he hadn’t gotten away with it.

He sped down the hallways until he was standing outside, just when it was beginning to rain.

_ “Fuck.” _ he patted down his suit jacket, searching for his lighter and cigarettes, _ “Fucking-- Fuck!” _ he huddled under the smoke shelter, shivering at the cold, wishing he had brought his coat with him, _ “Where the fuck--” _

Eddie’s voice spoke, gripping his attention, “You looking for something?” Richie whipped around and saw him holding onto the pack and lighter, “You left it at the table.”

“Thanks.” Richie took the packet from him and attempted to light one of the cigarettes, though his trembling hand prevented him from being able to use the lighter properly.

Eddie rambled, “You know those things’ll kill you. I mean, there’s lots of things in them, chemicals and shit, you know? They can cause all kinds of shit to happen; lung and throat cancer, liver problems--”

_“Fuck!” _ Richie threw his lighter and cigarette to the ground, “Can you just _ stop?” _

Eddie flinched at his tone, hurt flashing across his eyes and inflating Richie’s guilt, _ “I just wanted to--” _

“Well, look, it doesn’t matter.” Richie snapped, “None of this fucking matters. I need to get out of here.”

Eddie looked confused, “It’s Ben and Bev’s _ wedding, _ Rich.”

“Well, tell them that I’m not feeling well.” Richie’s hands trembled at his sides, both from how cold he was and how upset, and he began to pace, walking out into the rain.

Eddie retorted, “Well, you might get pneumonia from standing out in the rain, but even if you do, you can tell them _ yourself. _I mean, what’s your problem?”

_ “‘My problem’?” _ Richie scoffed, “My fucking problem is that I can’t fucking get a hold of myself, that I can’t even say how I feel because I’m so fucking afraid.”

Eddie stepped out into the rain, his gelled hair starting to wetly flop across his forehead, “Afraid of what? Rich, tell me. Please, just fucking tell me or--”

He was cut off when Richie’s mouth crashed against his, the taller man’s hands finding his cheeks. At first he froze, but after a second relaxed into it, his arms snaking around the back of Richie’s neck.

There was a taste of salt in the kiss, and it was then Eddie realised that Richie was crying, and with that revelation, so was he. Rain poured over them, soaking their jackets and rolling down Richie’s glasses, but neither cared as they sought comfort in each others’ arms.

They broke away when they needed to breathe but they remained close, their faces almost touching as Eddie’s forehead bumped the frame of Richie’s wet, clouded glasses, and although Richie could barely see through the rivulets that covered the lenses, he didn’t care as just the feeling of Eddie in his arms, his warm breath hitting his face was enough for him.

After a moment, Eddie suggested, “We should go inside before we freeze to death.”

_ “Yeah,” _Richie huffed a laugh and took off his glasses, blinking a few times, “You’ll need to guide me, I can’t see a thing right now and falling on my ass isn’t exactly on my agenda.”

Eddie’s arm linked with his, “Don’t worry, I’d _ never _let you fall.”

“Somehow, Eddie, my love,” Richie began as his feet searched for the right path, “I don’t believe you.”

When they were back inside the reception area, Richie cleaned his glasses to the best of his ability before putting them back on, blinking a few times before taking in Eddie’s warm smile. He was absolutely drenched, looking like he’d gone a couple of rounds with a drunken Aquaman and somehow still looking absolutely beautiful, hair strewn across his face as droplets of water ran down his face.

_ “What?” _Eddie noticed him staring as he squeezed water out of his tie, shivering a little.

Richie replied, his eyes blown with adoration, “It’s just… I think I’m gayer than previously established.”

“Well, that’s one way to come out, I guess.” Eddie laughed heartily, “I think I am too. Now, fucking kiss me, asshole.”

Richie leaned down with a grin, mumbling, _ “Yes, sir,” _before their mouths reconnected, Eddie’s hands reaching up to run through his hair, the rain having caused it to go even more curly. Richie’s hands settled on Eddie’s waist and they kissed for a few more seconds before having to break away for air once more, foreheads pressed together, “I think, uh, I think we should be returning to this party.”

“We should dry off first, but I need you to know that if you ask me to dance, I _ will _kick you in the balls, okay?” Eddie replied.

Richie laughed breathlessly, _ “Worth it.” _

_ “Oh my God.” _Beverly’s voice suddenly spoke, and the two men broke apart to see the other Losers were crowded together, apparently having sought to go check on them.

Richie attempted to joke, “Bev, fancy seeing you here. Shouldn’t you be subjecting yourself to Ben’s awful dad-dancing?”

“My dancing is _ fine,” _Ben defended, narrowing his eyes, “And we were coming to check on you, you looked pretty upset when you left. Everything okay?”

Eddie exchanged an encouraging look with Richie, who then nodded, “Yep. Everything’s good, actually. I think for the first time, everything is actually pretty awesome.” a smile crept onto his face, “I think-- I think I’m good.”

“Yeah, I was just about to ask Richie to be my boyfriend,” Eddie answered.

Richie looked confused, “We were making out, did the whole romantic ‘rain kiss’ cliché and you think you need to ask? Yes, you dumbass!”

_ “Fucking finally.” _ Stan remarked, “I thought you two would _ never _resolve your belligerent sexual tension.”

Richie remarked, “Well, technically, the _ sexual _part is still--” he was cut off by Eddie lightly shoving him.

_ “Gross.” _his friend gagged, “Did not need that mental image.”

Beverly rolled her eyes, “I think it’s romantic.”

“Yeah, I mean, I’d hug you guys but you kinda look like you’ve just been drowned.” Ben stated, “So instead, I’m going to get you all some towels.”

Richie nodded, “Yeah, the rain kiss cliché always looks a lot drier in movies. Less freezing, too.”

“I’m proud of you.” Ben smiled widely and kissed Beverly on the cheek before departing to get some towels.

Bill then spoke, “Seriously, you guys deserve to be happy, I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah, you two always did have a thing.” Mike stated.

Eddie suggested, “It was hatred.”

_“Aww, Eds.” _ Richie faux-pouted, “You love me and you know it.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, _ “Unfortunately.” _

“See what I mean about belligerent sexual tension?” Stan remarked, “You guys are so grossly romantic.”

Richie ran over to kiss Stanley on the forehead, “Love you, Stan the Man.”

_ “Fuck you.” _ Stan groaned, then confessed, “Love you too, but you didn’t hear me say it.”

Richie looked shocked, “Oh, my God. Stanley Uris _ wuvs _ me! He does, he really does! Oh, my heart _ flutters!” _

Stan rolled his eyes again, “Let’s just get back to the party.”

“Yes, because once we’re dry, Eds here is going to dance with me.” Richie threw an arm around Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie glared up at him, “Seriously, dude. My shoe, your balls.”

“Worth it for you, baby.” Richie remarked, then kissed him on the cheek. 

* * *

Some time later, when Ben had given them towels and their clothes had dried some, Richie looked up at the happily married couple as they swayed to the start of _ Elvis Presley’s ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love With You’._

He looked to Eddie, who shook his head initially, then conceded after Richie gave him his best puppy-eyes (he had learned them from Eddie himself, who was the master of looking like a kicked puppy at any given occasion).

He allowed himself to be led to the dancefloor, and although Richie could feel eyes on him, he knew they weren’t judging and cruel, like at the arcade, instead they were the eyes of his friends, his family, his Losers.

Eddie’s head rested against his shoulder as their hands linked, bodies beginning to sway to the melody of the song.

_ Shall I stay? _

_ Would it be a sin? _

_ If I can’t help falling in love with you. _

Eddie lifted his head and he held Richie’s gaze, his right hand moving from the taller man’s shoulder to cup his cheek as he murmured, “I love you. I always have.”

Richie could feel himself getting choked up again, tears pricking the back of his eyes, but this time it wasn’t from the traumas of the past or the fear that what lay in front of him was nothing more than temporary; this time, it was due to a feeling Richie hadn’t truly felt in years, since those days they spent together in the quarry, scared to death of Pennywise but glad they had each other.

He was _ happy; _truly, completely happy, and whilst part of him was intimidated by it and by the future of his life and career if he followed this path, the larger part of him didn’t care.

He was in love, and was loved in return, and that, he was sure, was the closest thing to paradise a human soul could endure. His friends were by his side; Bill, and his stupid, brilliant books and his big grin as he downed some wine, Mike, who was chatting and laughing with the author as if he hadn’t a care in the world now that he was free from the prison cell that was Derry, Ben and Beverly, the only two in the world who rivalled how much he loved Eddie, Stanley, and his warm, proud smile as he saw his friends all living and surviving as he was also glad he was living and surviving; and then there was Eddie.

Eddie Kaspbrak, the hypochondriac who had stolen Richie’s heart, who he had documented his feelings for on the Derry kissing bridge all those years ago, who he had almost lost. Eddie was here, he was real and although a part of him didn’t believe it, told him that everything around him would turn to dust in his hands, the way Eddie smiled up at him, eyes gleaming with delight, it made all his worries and woes disappear.

If he were to die right there and then, he would die a happy man, surrounded by everyone he loved.

Instead of dying, he replied to Eddie, their foreheads touching tenderly, _ “I love you too, Eddie. _More than anything.”

_ Like a river flows, _

_ Surely to the sea, _

_ Darling so it goes, _

_ Some things are meant to be. _

Eddie stood up on his tiptoes to kiss Richie, his nose bumping the other man’s glasses a little and causing them both to laugh into it before their lips reconnected, Richie’s hands settling on the small of his back whilst his found Richie’s cheeks.

It was electric, magnetic, a thousand other words that end in ‘ic’, completely indescribable as Richie’s heart fluttered in his chest like a teenager at prom; this was real, it was happening, he and Eddie were together and it was absolutely perfect.

_ Take my hand, _

_ Take my whole life too, _

_ For I can’t help falling in love with you. _

* * *

The morning after, whilst Eddie slumbered beside him in bed, Richie ran his fingers over the bumpy, ragged scar Pennywise had left. It had targeted his worst fears, being outed and losing Eddie, and It had nearly won too.

However, It hadn’t, and Eddie was here, sleeping beside him, probably exhausted from the night before where they had almost gotten a noise complaint from the people staying in the room next door.

One fear was being held off by Eddie just surviving, his chest rising and falling a little as he slept. It was an endearing sight, and Richie pressed a kiss to his cheek before deciding to eliminate the other fear entirely.

Shoving his glasses on, he blinked his bleary eyes before grabbing his mobile and typing out a tweet.

** _@richietozier ✓ _ **

_ i didn’t fuck ur mum i fucked ur dad because guess what? i’m gay! _

With that, he put his phone back on his dresser and curled back into Eddie’s arms, resting his head on the other man’s shoulder as his arm snaked around his waist.

This was what he had been searching for his whole life; this was true, perfect happiness and for once, the concept of it didn’t frighten him. _ Nothing _frightened him in that moment, and being held by the man he loved brought him the best kind of peaceful bliss as he felt himself falling back asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos/reviews are welcome!
> 
> come scream about reddie with me on my twitter @steelatoms and my tumblr @bisexualseg-el


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